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Following are some of the most essential elements for leading a successful married life J
· Communication (stop talking and it is over).
· Trust (single most important factor – you should be able to trust your life to the other person, without the slightest hesitation)
· Mutual Interests (and needs)
· Passion (without this, forget about it!)
· Making the other person feel special
· Spending as much time together as possible
· Romantic getaways
· Vacations (getting on a plane, flying far, far away, and going somewhere for an adventure)
· Flowers and surprises
· Fun - lots of fun stuff
· Unpredictability (as in spontaneously doing special/fun/wacky things)
· The "little things" that you never seem to have enough time to do together
An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language. He stated now hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she."
One of the students raised a hand and asked, "What 'gender' is a computer."
The teacher wasn't certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups - males in one - females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine.
Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
THE GROUP OF WOMEN CONCLUDED THAT COMPUTERS SHOULD BE REFERRED TO IN THE MASCULINE GENDER BECAUSE:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
THE MEN, ON THE OTHER HAND, DECIDED THAT COMPUTERS SHOULD DEFINITELY BE REFERRED TO IN THE FEMININE GENDER BECAUSE:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
It says: "Press Any Key"
It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving."
It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error now. 1A4-2546512430E"
It means: "... where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only to be told that it's a hardware problem."
It says: "Installing program to C:\...."
It means: "... And I'll also be writing a few files into c:\windows and c:\windows\system where you'll NEVER find them."
It says: "Please insert disk 11"
It means: "Because I know darnn well there are only 10 disks."
It says: "Not enough memory"
It means: "I don't CARE if you've got 64MB of RAM, I want to use the bit below 640K."
It says: "Cannot read from drive D:...."
It means: "... However, if you put the CD in right side up..."
It says: "Please Wait...."
It means: "... Indefinitely."
It says: "Directory does not exist...."
It means: ".... any more. Whoops."
It says: "The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close."
It means: "....Makes no difference to me, you're still not getting your work back."
This happens to be my favorite English poem, and is authored by Robert Frost, one of the most prolific poets of all times. I happened to read this poem somewhere during my early school days, and for some unexplainable reason, this poem stuck close to my heart ever since.
The poem is very inspirational, and at the same time, a tricky one to understand as well. It won’t be too much to say that this poem has been one of the driving forces in my life and pursuit so far.
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
In continuation of my earlier post on "Fun with Punctuation", here is one set of letters picked as the best by "Society for Editors and Proofreaders". These are basically thank-you letters, the first version conveying the actual thanks and the second one with modified punctuation marks, meaning the exact reverse. Read on, and enjoy !!
From here on, remember to use punctuation marks properly and carefully too...
Letter 1 - Matthew
In law, there is nothing to make me say thank you, but the quality of your gifts compels me at least to write to tell you how I feel. Thank you so much for the presents! I was expecting nothing more than a token yet, again, you have exceeded even your own incredible standards.
It was a shame you had to stay here for such a short time. I thought I might have coped, but it was unbearable seeing you leave. The relief was immense when I heard we might see you again soon. I wanted to end it all by saying goodbye now. I hope I will not have to say it to you again for a long time. If you have the opportunity to spend Christmas elsewhere next year, please do not.
There is nothing to make me say thank you, but the quality of your gifts compels me at least to write to tell you how I feel. Thank you? So much for the presents I was expecting. Nothing more than a token, yet again! You have exceeded even your own incredible standards.
It was a shame you had to stay here. For such a short time, I thought I might have coped, but it was unbearable. Seeing you leave, the relief was immense. When I heard we might see you again soon, I wanted to end it all. By saying goodbye now, I hope I will not have to say it to you again for a long time. If you have the opportunity to spend Christmas elsewhere next year, please do.
Not much love
Letter 2 - Clair
Just a quick note to say I received your gift - I was very surprised! When I saw the effort you had gone to I nearly cried. When I heard that you were coming for our roast turkey lunch I looked forward to the Christmas day celebration far more. Disdaining others no doubt spending the festive season feeling drunk, with joy we sang the classic yuletide carols. However, the horror on the streets tonight - revellers ignore the message of Christmas and down pints instead - I wish I could be there to help them.
Just a quick note to say I received your gift - I was very surprised when I saw the effort you had gone to. I nearly cried when I heard that you were coming for our roast turkey lunch. I looked forward to a Christmas day celebration far more disdaining. Others no doubt spending the festive season feeling drunk with joy - we sang the classic yuletide carols, however. The horror. On the streets tonight revellers ignore the message of Christmas and down pints instead. I wish I could be there to help them.
Letter 3 – Matt
You really made my year! When I heard you had fallen from your sleigh, I was sad. To see such wonderful gifts lined up under my Christmas tree, my eyes lit up. When I unwrapped your gifts I knew that the spirit of Christmas was still alive. It was terrible hearing about your accident. The best piece of news all year is your safe return. Things yet to come, you say! Christmas is a time to love and share, I disagree with Scrooges. Everywhere Christmas is slowly fading. Thanks for making it so fantastic.
You really made my year when I heard you had fallen from your sleigh! I was sad to see such wonderful gifts lined up under my Christmas tree. My eyes lit up when I unwrapped your gifts. I knew the spirit of Christmas was still alive - it was terrible. Hearing about your accident? The best piece of news all year. Is your safe return a sign of things yet to come? You say Christmas is a time to love and share, I disagree. With Scrooges everywhere, Christmas is slowly fading.
Thanks for making it so. Fantastic.
Letter 4 - Rob
Dear Auntie Maude,
I was amazed to receive yet again the perfumed soap you've compelled me to appreciate for three straight Christmases! That my family had suffered due to my body odour, I felt such delight. I took the soap to the bathroom. I normally enter only once each July, not that I wish to. Wash? Never! Could a mere gift change that? No! Your stubbornness fuelled my resolve. To drive my body to the soapy unknown, my family have sued me for cruelty, and threatened random hose attacks. I cannot allow that water and skin should meet.
With dignity intact!
Dear Auntie Maude,
I was amazed to receive yet again the perfumed soap. You've compelled me to appreciate, for three straight Christmases, that my family had suffered due to my body odour. I felt such delight, I took the soap to the bathroom I normally enter only once each July! Not that I wish to wash. Never could a mere gift change that. No, your stubbornness fuelled my resolve to drive my body to the soapy unknown. My family have sued me for cruelty, and threatened random hose attacks. I will not allow that. Water and skin should meet with dignity intact.
Letter 5 - Mark
Dear Aunt Agatha,
Sorry it has taken me so long to write telling you how much I liked your Christmas present this year, only I didn't have the time. To take it back and get another would be out of the question! I suppose for you to be so kind shouldn't come as a surprise after what you bought me last year. It was splendid! News about Uncle Brian? Dying to see you again in the New Year. Would be awful to lose touch.
Dear Aunt Agatha,
Sorry it has taken me so long to write telling you how much I liked your Christmas present this year, only I didn't. Have the time to take it back and get another? Would be out of the question, I suppose, for you to be so kind. Shouldn't come as a surprise after what you bought me last year. It was splendid news about Uncle Brian dying. To see you again in the New Year would be awful.
To lose touch,
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Case C – Other samples of fun with punctuation
§ In conducting annual self-assessment training, providers should seek help.
§ In conducting annual self-assessment, training providers should seek help.
§ The man dropped the bullet in his mouth.
§ The man dropped, the bullet in his mouth.
§ Watch out – man eating apes!
§ Watch out – man-eating apes!
§ We order merchandise and sell the products.
§ We order, merchandise and sell the products.
§ When I sing well, ladies feel sick.
§ When I sing, well ladies feel sick.
§ You will be required to work twenty four-hour shifts.
§ You will be required to work twenty-four hour shifts.
§ You will be required to work twenty-four-hour shifts.
Punctuation is everything !!
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