Saturday, May 31, 2008
It is very short and brief, and to the point straight. We love forwarding mails to friends only if it contains some junk or jokes, but never end up even reading messages like this.
I invite upon you to read this through, and share it with as many your friends as possible, as we all have a social responsibility to fulfill.
A Thoughtful Message
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Some of the dominant traits of the Sardar jokes include the Sardarji being shown as naïve, inept, unintelligent, unclean, or not well-versed with the English language.For example, here is a joke adapted from The Unofficial Joke Book of Mind Blowing SMS (ISBN 8184191901), compiled by a Sikh author:
A Sardarji is travelling for the first time in a plane, headed for Bombay. While the plane is landing, he starts shouting "Bombay, Bombay!".
The air hostess says, "Be silent".
Sardaji says, "OK", and starts shouting "ombay, ombay".
Some people feel that it is targeting to show an important community as naive and unintellectual, but the fact remains that most of these jokes were written,circulated or published by Sardars themselves.
In "The Other Face of India", M. V. Kamath wrote about "the Punjabi's enormous capacity to poke fun at himself, a trait that seems peculiar to the Punjabi, especially the Sikh."
In his book President Giani Zail Singh, the Sikh author Joginder Singh states "...who can enjoy a good joke against himself or against his tribe except a Punjabi and more particularly, a Sikh?"
I personally feel that these are jokes which just carry Sardars' names over there instead of any other, and should be used without hurting any particular community, and could be made general-class jokes. So, read through the collection attached herewith as it applies to just anybody / any situation, without focusing any thoughts about the sardar community.
Collection of Jokes
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
The Corporate Lessons
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
If you want to download the file for yourself, right click on the link below and select "Save target as": Gita for the IT Guys
Monday, March 24, 2008
Following are some of the most essential elements for leading a successful married life J
· Communication (stop talking and it is over).
· Trust (single most important factor – you should be able to trust your life to the other person, without the slightest hesitation)
· Mutual Interests (and needs)
· Passion (without this, forget about it!)
· Making the other person feel special
· Spending as much time together as possible
· Romantic getaways
· Vacations (getting on a plane, flying far, far away, and going somewhere for an adventure)
· Flowers and surprises
· Fun - lots of fun stuff
· Unpredictability (as in spontaneously doing special/fun/wacky things)
· The "little things" that you never seem to have enough time to do together
Sunday, March 23, 2008
An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language. He stated now hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she."
One of the students raised a hand and asked, "What 'gender' is a computer."
The teacher wasn't certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups - males in one - females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine.
Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
THE GROUP OF WOMEN CONCLUDED THAT COMPUTERS SHOULD BE REFERRED TO IN THE MASCULINE GENDER BECAUSE:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
THE MEN, ON THE OTHER HAND, DECIDED THAT COMPUTERS SHOULD DEFINITELY BE REFERRED TO IN THE FEMININE GENDER BECAUSE:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
It says: "Press Any Key"
It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving."
It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error now. 1A4-2546512430E"
It means: "... where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only to be told that it's a hardware problem."
It says: "Installing program to C:\...."
It means: "... And I'll also be writing a few files into c:\windows and c:\windows\system where you'll NEVER find them."
It says: "Please insert disk 11"
It means: "Because I know darnn well there are only 10 disks."
It says: "Not enough memory"
It means: "I don't CARE if you've got 64MB of RAM, I want to use the bit below 640K."
It says: "Cannot read from drive D:...."
It means: "... However, if you put the CD in right side up..."
It says: "Please Wait...."
It means: "... Indefinitely."
It says: "Directory does not exist...."
It means: ".... any more. Whoops."
It says: "The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close."
It means: "....Makes no difference to me, you're still not getting your work back."
Friday, March 21, 2008
I liked this presentation very much for its simplicity, and its hard-hitting message to us. Take a look, and am sure you will enjoy it as much as I did.
The Cliffhanger (opens in a new window)
One of the finest tricks played on the eye and its natural limitations.
If you want to download the file for yourself, right click on the link below and select "Save target as": Optical Illusion
Thursday, March 20, 2008
This happens to be my favorite English poem, and is authored by Robert Frost, one of the most prolific poets of all times. I happened to read this poem somewhere during my early school days, and for some unexplainable reason, this poem stuck close to my heart ever since.
The poem is very inspirational, and at the same time, a tricky one to understand as well. It won’t be too much to say that this poem has been one of the driving forces in my life and pursuit so far.
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Who moved my cheese?
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
In continuation of my earlier post on "Fun with Punctuation", here is one set of letters picked as the best by "Society for Editors and Proofreaders". These are basically thank-you letters, the first version conveying the actual thanks and the second one with modified punctuation marks, meaning the exact reverse. Read on, and enjoy !!
From here on, remember to use punctuation marks properly and carefully too...
Letter 1 - Matthew
In law, there is nothing to make me say thank you, but the quality of your gifts compels me at least to write to tell you how I feel. Thank you so much for the presents! I was expecting nothing more than a token yet, again, you have exceeded even your own incredible standards.
It was a shame you had to stay here for such a short time. I thought I might have coped, but it was unbearable seeing you leave. The relief was immense when I heard we might see you again soon. I wanted to end it all by saying goodbye now. I hope I will not have to say it to you again for a long time. If you have the opportunity to spend Christmas elsewhere next year, please do not.
There is nothing to make me say thank you, but the quality of your gifts compels me at least to write to tell you how I feel. Thank you? So much for the presents I was expecting. Nothing more than a token, yet again! You have exceeded even your own incredible standards.
It was a shame you had to stay here. For such a short time, I thought I might have coped, but it was unbearable. Seeing you leave, the relief was immense. When I heard we might see you again soon, I wanted to end it all. By saying goodbye now, I hope I will not have to say it to you again for a long time. If you have the opportunity to spend Christmas elsewhere next year, please do.
Not much love
Letter 2 - Clair
Just a quick note to say I received your gift - I was very surprised! When I saw the effort you had gone to I nearly cried. When I heard that you were coming for our roast turkey lunch I looked forward to the Christmas day celebration far more. Disdaining others no doubt spending the festive season feeling drunk, with joy we sang the classic yuletide carols. However, the horror on the streets tonight - revellers ignore the message of Christmas and down pints instead - I wish I could be there to help them.
Just a quick note to say I received your gift - I was very surprised when I saw the effort you had gone to. I nearly cried when I heard that you were coming for our roast turkey lunch. I looked forward to a Christmas day celebration far more disdaining. Others no doubt spending the festive season feeling drunk with joy - we sang the classic yuletide carols, however. The horror. On the streets tonight revellers ignore the message of Christmas and down pints instead. I wish I could be there to help them.
Letter 3 – Matt
You really made my year! When I heard you had fallen from your sleigh, I was sad. To see such wonderful gifts lined up under my Christmas tree, my eyes lit up. When I unwrapped your gifts I knew that the spirit of Christmas was still alive. It was terrible hearing about your accident. The best piece of news all year is your safe return. Things yet to come, you say! Christmas is a time to love and share, I disagree with Scrooges. Everywhere Christmas is slowly fading. Thanks for making it so fantastic.
You really made my year when I heard you had fallen from your sleigh! I was sad to see such wonderful gifts lined up under my Christmas tree. My eyes lit up when I unwrapped your gifts. I knew the spirit of Christmas was still alive - it was terrible. Hearing about your accident? The best piece of news all year. Is your safe return a sign of things yet to come? You say Christmas is a time to love and share, I disagree. With Scrooges everywhere, Christmas is slowly fading.
Thanks for making it so. Fantastic.
Letter 4 - Rob
Dear Auntie Maude,
I was amazed to receive yet again the perfumed soap you've compelled me to appreciate for three straight Christmases! That my family had suffered due to my body odour, I felt such delight. I took the soap to the bathroom. I normally enter only once each July, not that I wish to. Wash? Never! Could a mere gift change that? No! Your stubbornness fuelled my resolve. To drive my body to the soapy unknown, my family have sued me for cruelty, and threatened random hose attacks. I cannot allow that water and skin should meet.
With dignity intact!
Dear Auntie Maude,
I was amazed to receive yet again the perfumed soap. You've compelled me to appreciate, for three straight Christmases, that my family had suffered due to my body odour. I felt such delight, I took the soap to the bathroom I normally enter only once each July! Not that I wish to wash. Never could a mere gift change that. No, your stubbornness fuelled my resolve to drive my body to the soapy unknown. My family have sued me for cruelty, and threatened random hose attacks. I will not allow that. Water and skin should meet with dignity intact.
Letter 5 - Mark
Dear Aunt Agatha,
Sorry it has taken me so long to write telling you how much I liked your Christmas present this year, only I didn't have the time. To take it back and get another would be out of the question! I suppose for you to be so kind shouldn't come as a surprise after what you bought me last year. It was splendid! News about Uncle Brian? Dying to see you again in the New Year. Would be awful to lose touch.
Dear Aunt Agatha,
Sorry it has taken me so long to write telling you how much I liked your Christmas present this year, only I didn't. Have the time to take it back and get another? Would be out of the question, I suppose, for you to be so kind. Shouldn't come as a surprise after what you bought me last year. It was splendid news about Uncle Brian dying. To see you again in the New Year would be awful.
To lose touch,
An English professor wrote the words: "A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote: A woman: "without her, man is nothing."
Case B – Love Letter and Not so Loving letter – change in punctuation
See how the same letter with the same wordings can change in meaning by different punctuation usage:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Case C – Other samples of fun with punctuation
§ In conducting annual self-assessment training, providers should seek help.
§ In conducting annual self-assessment, training providers should seek help.
§ The man dropped the bullet in his mouth.
§ The man dropped, the bullet in his mouth.
§ Watch out – man eating apes!
§ Watch out – man-eating apes!
§ We order merchandise and sell the products.
§ We order, merchandise and sell the products.
§ When I sing well, ladies feel sick.
§ When I sing, well ladies feel sick.
§ You will be required to work twenty four-hour shifts.
§ You will be required to work twenty-four hour shifts.
§ You will be required to work twenty-four-hour shifts.
Punctuation is everything !!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Outgoing Personality = Always going out of the office
Good Communication Skills = Spends lots of time on phone
Average Employee = Not too bright
Exceptionally Well Qualified = Made no major blunders yet
Work is First Priority = Too ugly to get a date
Active Socially = Drinks a lot
Family is Active Socially = Spouse drinks, too
Independent Worker = Nobody knows what he/she does
Quick Thinking = Offers plausible excuses
Careful Thinker = Won't make a decision
Aggressive = Obnoxious
Uses Logic on Difficult Jobs = Gets someone else to do it
Expresses Themselves Well = Speaks English
Meticulous Attention to Detail = A nit picker
Has Leadership Qualities = Is tall or has a loud voice
Exceptionally Good Judgement = Lucky
Keen Sense of Humor = Knows a lot of dirty jokes
Career Minded = Back Stabber
Loyal = Can't get a job anywhere else
Monday, March 17, 2008
The most common example you can see nowadays is a page in most corporate documents stating "This page is intentionally left blank" - very simple, though drilling into it, you find that the page is not blank, because this one line is already printed on it. So, it is true and false at the same time. There are varieties of Paradoxes, and it is an extremely interesting topic to be dwelt upon.
I shall quote a few examples of Paradoxes, just to kick your interest up in the subject. Once you are bought into the beauty, you will start doing your own analysis and exploration :-)
a) "I always lie" is a paradox, because if you always lie, this statement is also a lie - which would mean that you never lie, and it goes back to a cycle - meaning the current statement is true, which links back to truth Vs lies.
b) "John, an American, said - All americans are liars" - again, a classical self-referential paradox. If John is an american, and he makes this statement, his statement is also a lie - which means all americans are not liars. Again, that would contradict the original stand and go on and on.
c) Curry's Paradox - "If this sentence is true, the world will end in a week"
d) Bandwagon Fallacy: Consider a situation in which a father and son are driving down the road. The car collides with a tree and the father is killed. The boy is rushed to the nearest hospital where he is prepared for emergency surgery. On entering the surgery suite, the surgeon says, "I can't operate on this boy. He's my son." The apparent paradox caused here is by the bandwagon fallacy. The reader, upon seeing the word surgeon, applies a poll of their knowledge of surgeons and reasons that since the majority of surgeons are male, the surgeon is a man, hence the contradiction: the father of the child, a man, was killed in the crash. The paradox is resolved if it is revealed that the surgeon is a woman, the boy's mother.
e) If your birthday is on February 29 you could state the paradox that you are thirteen years old although you have only had three birthdays.
f) Classical problem of Missing One Rupee:
Three guests check into a hotel. The Cashier says the bill is Rs 30 so each pays Rs 10. Later the cashier realizes the bill should only be Rs 25. To rectify he gives the bellboy Rs 5 back to return to the guests. On the way back to the room the bellboy realizes that he cannot divide the money evenly. As they didn’t know the total of the revised bill, he decides to give the guests Rs 1 each and keep Rs 2 for himself. Now that the guests have been given Rs 1 back, each has paid Rs 9. Three times nine is 27 and the bellboy has Rs 2 in his pocket. Two plus 27 is 29. If the guests originally handed over $30, what happened to the remaining one rupee?
Think of it, and try to find an answer for this yourself ;-)
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Coincidence between the lives of Abraham Lincoln & John F Kennedy
2. Both of them took lot of interest in the rights and liberties of Negro / Blacks.
3. Both of them were assassinated during their Presidency
4. Both were assassinated on a Friday
5. Both of them had their wives along with them, while they were killed
6. Both got hit by bullets in the back of the head, and that was the prime cause of death
7. Both of them begot children while they were living in the White House.
8. Unfortunately and again coincidentally, both of them lost their kids immediately on birth, as well.
9. Lincoln got killed in Ford Theatre, while Kennedy got killed in a car called “Lincoln”, which was a Ford product
10. Both of them were succeeded by a President in the name of Johnson (Andrew Johnson was one, Linton Johnson was another)
11. The successors also were born with an exact gap of 100 years – Andrew was 1808 born, while Linton was 1908 born
12. The assassinators of Lincoln and Kennedy also had the same gap of 100 years between their birth years. John Wilkes Booth was born in 1839, while Lee Harvey Oswald was born in 1939
13. Both the assassinators were from Southern States of the US
14. Both the killers were shot dead before the cases could be filed against them
15. Booth killed Lincoln in a theatre, and ran off to a garage. Oswald killed Kennedy in a garage and ran off to a theatre.
16. The total number of letters in the names of Lincoln and Kennedy is equal – 7
17. The total number of letters in the names of their successors (Andrew Johnson and Linton Johnson) is equal – 13
18. The total number of letters in the names of their killers (John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald) is equal – 15
19. The first name of Lincoln’s secretary is John. And the last name of Kennedy’s secretary is Lincoln!
20. Finally, when Lincoln applied for the Presidency for the first ever time, he had recommended a person named “John Kennedy” to be the Vice President.
Do you call this Coincidence?
Saturday, March 15, 2008
1. "When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
2. "H3O is hot water, and CO3 is cold water"
3. "To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."
4. "When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"
5. "Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state"
6. "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."
7. "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
8. "Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."
9. "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
10. "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
11. "A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
12. "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
13. "The pistol of a flower is its only protections agenst insects."
14. "For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it."
15. "A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."
16. "The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in his fight."
17. "A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."
18. "Many women belive that an alcoholic binge will have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception."
19. "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."
20. "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
21. "Liter: A nest of young puppies."
22. "Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."
23. "Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
24. "Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
25. "Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
Enjoy your weekend...
Friday, March 14, 2008
The Puranic Background
What is done for the Nonbu?
Courtesy: Some interesting blogs and websites - too many to be named here...
For more info, visit these links:
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Having been around in the Web world since the early days, with my websites http://www.hari.ws/ and http://www.vedarahasya.net/, I have decided to get into the blogging habit as well now. Guess it is a little late now, but as they say "Better late than never".
My blog would have content on multiple topics including but not limited to HR, Management, Polity, Economics, Finance, Excel, Web-o-mania, Religion, Temples, Vedas, and more...Keep a watch and do visit regularly.