Poor Wives - how they suffer ... !
As promised, here I fulfill the wish of poor wives - the way they want to take revenge on the really-so-difficult husbands, who are not understanding and painful to handle.
Here are the sayings of some women about their husbands and their married life.
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A Woman's Perfect Breakfast:
Imagine..
Your son's picture is on the box of Wheaties.
Your daughter is on the cover of Fortune.
Your boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
Your husband is on the back of the milk carton.
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Love may be blind, but marriage Is a real eye-opener!
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
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Wife to Husband:
I must admit, you brought religion in my life.I never believed in Hell until I met you.
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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.
The rest cheat in Europe.*******************************************************************************
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.*******************************************************************************
A little boy asked his mother, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
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A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, it's my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric."
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Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
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Wife to a Friend: Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. He goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays
A little boy went up to his mother and asked: "Mom, where did all of my intelligence come from?"
The mother replied, "Well son, you must have got it from your father, because I still have mine."*******************************************************************************
A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc.
The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name.
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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
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A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted".
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing.
"Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!
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Son: "Mom, do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time' and 'long ago'?"
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"And you tell me several men proposed marriage to you," said the husband.
"Yes, several," the wife replied."Well I wish you had married the first fool who proposed."
"I did!"
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A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
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Seven Ages of the Married Cold
2nd year -- "Listen, honey, I don't like the sound of that cough. I called the doc and he's going to stop by here and take a look at you. Why don't you just go on to bed and get the rest you need?"
4th year -- "No sense wearing yourself out when you're under the weather. When you finish those dishes and the kids' baths and get them to bed, you ought to go to bed yourself!"
5th year -- "Why don't you take a couple aspirin?"
7th year -- "For Pete's sake, stop sneezing. Are you trying to give me pneumonia? You'd better pick up some tissues while you're at the store."
Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. (unknown to any)
Why are men like lawn mowers?
If you’re not pushing one around, then you’re riding it.
How is an ex-husband like an inflamed appendix?
It caused you a lot of pain, and after it was removed you found out you didn’t need it anyway.
How do we know men invented maps?
Who else would make an inch into a mile?
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need……..
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need
Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?
A mental hospital
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Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
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And now for the grand finale... here are a few short, cute poems from a wife to a loving husband.
I see your face, when I am dreaming.
That's why I always, wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything that you're not.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet,and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."
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