Friday, December 31, 2010

Perfect Relationships

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one."

The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please".

"Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."

The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife.

Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

Whether we make marriage a bed of thorns or a bed of roses, is ultimately, in our own hands.. we can create heaven or earth or carry hell on our heels, wherever we go.

Better be careful and choosy in building and nurturing relationships, than to be sorry later throughout life.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Right Speech

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech.

When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site.

A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker."

She answered,"You should appreciate that you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

So, better be careful with what you speak, regardless of whom you address... it might hurt a little less to those who are dear to you, but remember it keeps accumulating, and sooner or later, will bust out into a big issue..

The Vedas say: "One who controls his speech, can control the whole world"..and not without a reason !

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Personal Perception

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison.

A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey? "Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."

The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a nar row bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..

Be thy own judge, true to your conscience !

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A must read for every Dad

A beautiful story - a must read for every Dad, and aspiring Dads!!

"You have done a brilliant work Rajesh. You have been given…."
'rrrrhhhhh… …Raaaajjjeeeessshhhh………… Raaaajjjeeeessshhhh.’- what!!
I woke up from a sudden jerk. ‘Raaajeeessshhh….’…I heard my wife yelling. What’s with her? Always yelling for something or the other. I can’t be in peace even in my dreams. Shucks!!

Angrily, I kicked my blanket and got down. ‘Raaajesssh….’ ‘Coming Meera..what’s with you. Why are you shouting like this..’.

I hurried down the stairs. I saw Meera, my sweet(??!!) wife, sitting in the couch giving breakfast to my 7yr old daughter Achala. Both looked happy, watching TV. I got confused at the whole scenario. I came running down, expecting some kind of earthquake, but instead here everything was in place. I looked at my wife & daughter. She smiled at me back. Now, I more got confused, what’s happening here? Am I in a dream?

‘Meera…’
‘Yeah Rajesh…’
‘You called me. In fact yelled.’
‘Yes. You are right!’
‘Everything is fine here right? Why you screamed like that then…’
‘It’s ‘cos it’s going to be 8am now.’

I couldn’t understand what she was trying to say. Is she playing some kind of prank? Is this the time for all these? I have to be in office by 9am for a meeting.

‘Yes. It’s going to be 8am.Right! So…?’
‘Rajesh, don’t tell me, you forgot…today is 27th ‘
‘27th..What 27th?
‘Don’t tell me you don’t remember?’

Meera gave me an ‘I’ll kill you’ look. Is it her birthday? No it’s somewhere at the year end. Is it my daughter’s? No no , we celebrated last month only right. Got it. Should be our Anniversary.

‘Hey Meera, How will I forget our Anniversary…’
‘Whaattttttt????….Anniversaryyyyy???…..’

Got it. It’s not our anniversary. Before I get killed…What’s w/ 27th. What ?? what?? Come on Rajesh!! Think. Nothing hit my mind. I looked at my daughter for a clue. She turned her face away. What’s with all women? Why can’t they be straight forward & say things.

With so much work pressure, how on earth I am supposed to remember all the dates?. If I say something, then Meera will pick up a fight, and I will miss the meeting, my whole day will be gone. I made up my mind to surrender.

‘Meera, Sorry, I don’t remember. This medicine I am taking for cough, Something happened..my memory is deteriorating ..What’s today?’ Meera doesn’t seem like buying that excuse from me.

’Meera, please tell me’ I asked in a pitiable tone..
‘Rajesh..You don’t remember at all?’ I moved my head left & right meaning NO. I kept my face like I am a patient suffering from ‘amnesia’.

‘Rajesh, As part of annual day celebrations, today is ‘Daddy’s Day’ in Acchu’s school. I have been telling you for the past 3 weeks. Now don’t tell me you forgot. You already promised that you will go with her to her school’

I couldn’t believe that I accepted for something like that. ‘Meeraa..did I??’
‘Yes. You did’
‘at what time it starts..?’
‘By 8:30am and ends at 1pm’.
Gosh!! 9am!! I have such a critical meeting. How I will attend all these.

“Meera, you could have reminded me yesterday right?’
‘Oh I didn’t remind you? Great. I didn’t call to your office. Or remind you in the evening and before going to bed’

Might be I wouldn’t have heard it. Or slipped out of my memory. What ever!!

‘Meera! Can’t you attend all these. Why should I??’
“Rajesh. It’s Daddy’s Day!…DADDY’ss!!!!!’
‘Oh yeah….but…’
‘But what????…’
‘errrh….might be some other day…’
‘What? You want the school to postpone the function?’
‘No..No…actually..what..I am saying is..’

‘What Rajesh??? What?? Tell me. You promised Acchu and are you going to disappoint her? ‘

I stood there totally helpless. I looked at my daughter. She was all dressed up and ready to go. She looked like, she will cry any time. I saw Meera. She gave me a murderous look. I thought for a moment and my mind raced with many calculations.

Important meeting. I can’t miss for sure. Half a day is too much. So many deliverables will get affected. I can’t face Meera again if I don’t go. Might be I can postpone the meeting by an hour and for name sake visit that function and escape to office.

‘Meera, I will go, but I can spend only 1 hour..’

‘No…that’s not..’

Before Meera finished the sentence, Acchu rushed to me ‘Thanks daddy. 1hour. Mom, 1hour is enough mom. Please don’t fight mom. Daddy, get ready soon..’ she nudged me.
‘Do you know her school name and the route for the school or you want me to tell???’ Asking that Meera threw me an angry look and left the living room. I rushed up, got ready. Called my manager & told that I got stuck in traffic jam and postponed the meeting to 10am.

I took Achala to her school. I felt somehow entering the school, ‘cos it’s the 2nd time, I am entering her school. In fact 1st time. I once dropped her outside her school gate. The school had a big playground, Small Park with all kids playing equipments. Some stalls were put up.

So many kids with their fathers moved around here & there. Suddenly I felt some one touching my hand ‘Are you achala’s daddy?’ – A small kid asked. She had curly hair and bubbly smile.
‘Yes,,,My Daddy..…’ – Achala responded in an excited tone. And some kids ran towards me and Achala started introducing everyone.
‘Daddy! this is Rohit, this is zakir, Anis, Sylvia, Divya..’ – I told hello to everyone.
‘Daddy, Daddy, Zakir is my best friend.’ – I smiled at that cute blue eyed boy.
‘Uncle, Acchu told that you have so much work and you won’t be able to come. She told she won’t come in today. You don’t have work Uncle?’ – Zakir asked me.

I suddenly felt very bad on how my daughter has understood me. ‘No Zakir, I don’t have work’
‘Daddy, they are calling for the games. ‘ . Zakir ran to his father and waved his hands at me & achala. I took achala by hand and walked towards the stage. They were announcing the 1st game. Fathers will be given a sheet containing questions about their kids. Fathers have to fill about their kids which will be verified with the kids response.

Achala was all excited about the game and she was all set to go. But I felt shivers. I looked at my daughter. Suddenly, I felt very far from her, and the reality hit me, that I don’t know anything about my very own daughter. I blurted out ‘Acchu..we will attend the next game..This one ..’ She gave me a deep stare. I thought she is going to cry or shout or do something. But instead she pulled out a small paper from her jeans pocket and gave it to me. Completely baffled, I opened the sheet.

My name is Achala. My birthday March 21st. I am 7yrs old. I like butterfly. Superman. Dairy milk. painting. dancing. I am in 1st standard A section. I like Dora. Mango. Apple. Fried rice. Jelly. I don’t like banana. I drink boost.. I like yellow color. My nick name is ‘Honey dew’

And the list went on with small, small spelling mistakes. I looked at Acchu. ‘Daddy, read it, I know they will keep this game. So I wrote it 2 days back itself, to give you if you come. If they ask anything about me, write there. Ok Now go & attend the game’.

Most of the things, my daughter has written & gave me, I never knew anything about it. I suddenly felt a lump in my throat. I went to the stage waved my hand to Acchu and got the question sheet. Since Acchu gave the sheet, I came to know about her & I answered almost all the questions. Then they asked Acchu on stage and asked the questions to her. We got the 2nd highest mark in that game. Acchu came running towards me and hugged me. They gave a ‘toy guitar’. Everyone congratulated us. Thou’ I won that game, I felt like a loser. I know, I don’t deserve this. I don’t know anything about my daughter.

She looked very happy showing that guitar to her best friend, zakir . What a kid she is. Understanding that her dad is totally hopeless and don’t want to let her dad down, before others she prepared that sheet and gave to me.

The lump in my throat started getting bigger and my heart became heavy. I caressed her hair.

What a beautiful smile she has and such big eyes. Does she miss a wing to get qualified as an angel? I have never admired my daughter or even watched her in all these years. She has that cute dimple of Meera’s as well as her eyes. Does that curling lip edges when she smiles, is mine? How I missed all this in my life.

Achala pulled me to the stalls there and I got some eatables and ballons for her and zakir.. She kept talking about the next game and suddenly my mobile rang. Oops!! Is it already 10am. I looked at Acchu . Suddenly her face became dark. She looked totally upset and asked in an low voice ‘Daddy! You have to leave now?’

I looked at my mobile. My manager was calling. It’s already 10am. I looked at Acchu. I looked around. All those happy kids with their fathers. I thought about my school days, where my dad used to come for all sports day, annual day, sit with me, cheer me up. Every day morning, while dropping me to school, he will wait near the gate until my head disappear. Evening, he will come & pick me up in his cycle, and I will be telling him all the stories that happened that day in school.

I saw Acchu. How many untold stories my daughter has kept in her heart to say me? I thought about all those days, where I yearned for a girl child and I wonder, how much of my time I gave her.

I pulled her closer, gave a kiss on her fore head ‘No Honey! I am not going. I will be here only…we will attend all games and roam around whole day.ok?’

‘Really?’ – She asked in an unbelievable tone.
‘Yes sweetz’
‘Thank you Daddy!’ – Achala kissed my cheeks and ran to her friends. School teaches you something or the other always. This time, ‘back to school’ has taught me a wonderful life’s lesson. I called my manager & told that am running high fever and can’t come in today. I know, I can handle things tomorrow.

Today my daughter needs me more than anyone can need me in this world. With a lighter heart, I got up; ran towards Acchu, lifted her and gave her a big swing. She erupted into an uncontrollable laughter.

The lump in my throat started melting away.

Too many mistakes? Dont worry !

Why should we bear with mistakes?

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.


"Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a better One"